This is to date, by far the most important and thoughtfully put together blog post.
First thing first, before we proceed with today’s feast of a post. I would just like to say, to those all going through something right now, that you’re not alone. You’re loved ones are patiently waiting by your side, supporting and loving you.
For those, of you who know of someone that is going through something right now, display patience, love and care. These three qualities will also help you deal and manage with you’re own feelings whilst seeing your dearest of people through the difficult moments.
For today, I’m going to go through a few things that helped/help me deal with the testing moments, that life happens to throw in your direction when all is swimmingly well.
Make a list
The most important thing to me is my family. I honestly grab a pen and jot down all the moments of joy that they’ve brought to me. Being from a big family, this is even more therapeutic than you think. Listing at least three things/events under each family members name. Before you know it, time has passed and you’re previous anxious, worrying mood has subside with joy and smiles.
This list doesn’t necessary have to be family like my scenario. Make it relevant and personally to yourself, this could the list of all the concerts that you’ve been too, reliving the moments as you pop down on paper.
Social media and the importance of Music
Considering we all with no shame, spend a fair share of our time, scrolling through our phones, it’s often overlooked, the actually impact muting/blocking certain pages/images/posts from your timeline can do for your wellbeing. Ain’t nobody got time to listen to something irrelevant/pointless in person, why should your timeline be any different. Cleanse your timeline and distance yourself from the nonsense.
I honestly don’t know doctors advise listening to music for certain cases. I think we’ve all got those songs that are associated with a feeling. Creating playlists for specific events, helped me effectively deal with day to day situations. New interview? Let me play that untouchable playlist, let me go grab myself a new job. Don’t underestimate the power of music, the same artist
Drake can have one song feeling like you’ve got unlimited zeros in your bank account to reminiscing about that non existent ex, losing your appetite eating your favourite dinner.
Exercise, my medication, my therapy
Another that I clinched and still cling onto is Exercise. Apart from the obvious benefits of exercise in relation to your physique. Exercise proved to be a powerful tool to use against depressive thoughts. After a good session, the world weight felt minuscule. I felt more and more calm, the more time I spent in the gym. It gave me some quiet time, I began to procrastinate and overthink less and less. The tension of stress was leaving my body and people around could evidently see the progress that I was making, the openness that I was conveying in conversation that I was previously passive in. I began to find my voice again.
Mindset and self talk
They say the first sign of madness, is when you start talking to yourself. I would happily consider myself to be mad, borderline insane then. Quite frankly I not going to lie, I do like a good conversation with myself. I’ve learnt how to talk myself up in any given situation, I have made myself feel like the boss of a room, the organisers of all plans, the go to man for everybody’s needs. All by having a little pep-talk.
I would be lying by saying it is easy to tell yourself, day after day that your vision will one day become your lifestyle. In reality, it’s not. Society loves to stack up the odds against you, something always just seems to pop up when you’re over the hurdle and can see the home street, but that’s life. Life is difficult, the difficulty in it makes everything so worthwhile. Where is the joy and fun in achieving lesser targets that you’ve given yourself.
I happily constantly practise self talk. I pay attention to the words I use to describe the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways. Ted talks, books, Instagram posts you name it, I consume it. Anything that can put me back into a positive mood, I’ll do it. It doesn’t necessary need to be the following above, watch a movie, TV series, listen to music do whatever works for you.
I often remind myself, that these shoes of doubt have been worn before by others, I’m not the first and won’t be the last. If others have managed to replace these shoes with some nice boots, I know that I’m capable of doing the same.
Self talk, has honestly left me in admiration of my visions for the future. It’s helped me shape my own reality and given more opportunities along the way. You’ll be surprised how those conversations of future experiences turn into your daily lifestyle. Before you achieve it, you must see it.
For my American readers, I’m talking about soccer. If there has ever been one constant in my life, it’s been that size 5 football.
Take care of the ball and it’ll take care of you. In darkest moments it’s been my saviour and joy. That ball has given me many life experience and skills that I’ve been fortunate enough to cherished, develop and continue to lean on. The importance of sport can never be underestimated. Football gave me the confidence and faith that anything I truly want on this planet will be achieved.
I’ve granted myself three wishes. The seeds have been sown.
Without sounding egotistical, I could go all day about what helped me.
Depression is real and it’s normal. It’s not something you should ever feel you’re not able to talk about. No two situations are the same, be patient and supportive of anybody that you may know that is going through a difficult time.
Always remember the individual, does want to get better, they do want to move on with their lives, they do appreciate your care, support and love. You’ll be surprised how far patience and a good listening ear will take the person.
You’re not alone. Be patient, be kind to yourself. One day you’ll reap. There is power in your pain.